


count me out

by oscillators (oscillovers)



Category: Cignature (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Idols, Character Study, Gen, Jin Hyeonju | Belle-centric, disbandment talk, inspired by their talk about us youtube video, lapslock, maybe.... i don't know how to use that tag, set post good day and pre c9 girls announcement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29383533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oscillovers/pseuds/oscillators
Summary: "then come home."
Relationships: Hwang Jiwon | Sunn & Jin Hyeonju | Belle
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	count me out

“then come home,” her father had said. like it was simple.

hyeonju kneels down and tightens her laces. stands up and faces herself in the practice room mirror. there’s a reflective sheen of sweat glimmering on her forehead and she wipes at it absent mindedly as she catches her breath. stubborn is one word for it. determined is another. the technicality of it doesn’t matter. hyeonju knows one thing:

she can get better. she will get better.

it’s the mantra she repeats to herself as she sets up her phone to film her reflection.

hyeonju counts herself in. _five, six, seven, eight_ -

some things really are too good to be true. for example: leaving for seoul, joining a dance academy, getting signed by an agency and debuting all before she turned 16. the silent crumbling away of her dream was a little too much for hyeonju to take. a little too much. it was too much, it was so much. she’d never had delusions of grandeur when it came to her career, but nobody debuts and expects to fade into nothing with as little fanfare as they had.

there was the possibility of a second chance. a second debut, a new girl group. half of her friends had already left or were considering leaving, and the eyes of the handful of trainees their company keeps on glisten with the dream that she’d had, too. they want that spot. they want to debut.

had the dream. still has the dream.

still has the dream.

if she gets to debut again, then she has to be better than she ever was. which is why she’s here, now, rewatching herself dance as the clock on her phone flickers from 02:59 to 03:00.

she pauses and rewinds to check her angles. her leg isn’t quite fully extended in this move, and it make the next one less impactful.

she’s so focused on her video that she doesn’t hear it when the door opens and doesn’t notice anyone has come in until they appear in her peripheral vision.

she decided to let whoever it is bring attention to themselves. she doesn’t look up until the video’s over and she doesn’t have an excuse to ignore them anymore.

hyeonju looks up at her reflection and sees hwangji, looking right back at her in the mirror. she has makeup smudged at the corner of her eyes, but it looks more like she’s rubbed at them than it might look if she’d been crying. hyeonju knows. she’s seen plenty of girls with mascara running black down their cheeks. she’s been that girl. this isn’t that; hwangji just looks tired.

“how long are you going to practice for?” hwangji asks. she doesn’t ask why hyeonju’s here so late.

hyeonju swallows. “until i get it perfect.”

maybe it’s how late at night it is, but every second feels stretched out, like time has gone elastic in the moments between their sentences. hwangji watches her carefully, almost analytically.

“okay,” she finally says. “show me.” her gaze doesn’t waver as hyeonju nods and sets her phone back up. she wipes imaginary dust off her legs, self-conscious.

hwangji was the best dancer in the company not just by a stretch but by a mile, and there were a couple younger trainees, the ones who didn’t know her, who saw that and feared her. but hyeonju wasn’t scared to dance in front of her. they had debuted together, donned their stage names with pride. lucky and viva. they had sat together in that godforsaken meeting room on cold, uncomfortable stools, the ten of them.

hyeonju counts herself in. _five, six, seven, eight -_

hwangji reaches to pause the music. “that was perfect.”

hyeonju drops down onto the floor beside her, back to the mirror, and squints at her. “it wasn’t. you’re lying to get me to come back to the dorm.”

“why would i do that?” hwangji asks, with a low laugh. “you’re a good dancer, ju. you don’t need to be here till three am.”

“sure, i’m good -” hyeonju begins, but she’s shocked into silence by hwangji taking her face into her hands and squashing her cheeks in the process.

“you’re good enough,” hwangji’s tone is so firm that hyeonju can’t find it in herself to disagree. she wonders, though, whether hwangji really believes what she’s saying or she’s just saying it to placate hyeonju. “right?”

hyeonju nods, as well as she can with her head practically restrained like this. “right,” she repeats, practically inaudible.

“then come home,” hwangji says, voice gentle now. her hands loosen but hyeonju grabs onto them with her own.

hyeonju’s gut rolls with a wave of nausea. it’s not home. the dorm isn’t home. home is naju, where her parents are, where the words swing with dialect, where the mountains climb above the clouds, where the river runs deeper than it ever gets in seoul.

 _then come home_.

hyeonju had stuck up her chin, planted her feet, and said _no_ to that once already today. this iteration of it is a little softer. the stakes are lower. the practice room will still be here tomorrow. she is still herself, and she will be herself tomorrow and she can learn the dance even better. she can perfect it, and maybe get hwangji to check her dancing honestly this time.

hyeonju doesn’t know how long she was silent for, but she’s shocked out of her thoughts by a hwangji pressing a kiss to her forehead. fleetingly quick, but imbued with so much affection that hyeonju almost doesn’t know what to do with it.

“come on,” hwangji says, standing up and reaching out. hyeonju blinks up at her and reaches forward after only a moment of hesitation. hwangji’s hands are warm, and solid, and real. she braces herself. “i’ll pull you up. five, six, seven, eight -”

**Author's Note:**

> they're each other's home :>
> 
> feel like this needs a fiction disclaimer specifically because it arose from a real story about belle's phone call with her dad, but we all know it's fanfiction. this came from my brain it's not real.
> 
> [twt, 18+, mostly nct](https://twitter.com/oscillovers)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/oscillovers)
> 
> comments/kudos make my day :)


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